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The latest NOT from Bluesky.

NOT THE Bluesky User FAQ


NOT by The Bluesky Team

Welcome to the Bluesky beta app, you lucky-child-of-a... - if you have an invite
Y'all guinea pigs for a 148th try to create a fair, balanced social network in this universe.

If you came here to find out about the AT Protocol you should seriously check your google-skills and/or see a doctor. Let me spell it for you u-s-e-r f-a-q, not a-t f-a-q.

Data Privacy

What is public and what is private on Bluesky?

*blows raspberry*

Why are my posts, likes, and blocks public?

Why? Why not! If you wanted to communicate in private, you could use Wire, Signal, WhatApp, Talk, iChat, GoogleWhatsitcalledwekilledthelastonenooneremembers, etc.
Or TWITTER, have you heard of it?

Can I set my profile to be private?

*snort* haha thats a good one. No. Never.

What happens when I delete a post?

Elves come and take the bits away from our servers.
Don't delete too much or we have to pay the elves overtime. Costs a fortune.

Can I get a copy of all of my data?

Yes — if you have a printer, press STRG+P / Command+P on Mac.
If have a phone and no keyboard, you can take screenshots.
If you don't know how to take a screenshot: Make a photocopy of the screen.
Or write your data down in a diary. We don't care.

Moderation

What does muting do?

It like turning the volume knob to zero. Its like ball-gagging your *** so *** can still clean but shuts the fuck up. (Yes, this was a misogynistic kinkshaming stereotype.
We tried that here. We also thought doing a racist, ablist, misogynistic, kinkshaming stereotype, but when you piss off everyone, you piss off no one.)

What does blocking do?

Its like the berlin wall, but digital. Including watchtowers, guard dogs, etc.
If you circumvent it, we shoot you (in our imagination). Bang Bang.

How do I flag abuse?

You can report it, you snitch. Or you could have gathered an online army, scream bloddy murder in what's hot. That was until we got custom feeds. So now no one cares about that bloody murder any more, so you will just report it, you snitch.
(Its also the only reason we have custom feeds: Devide and conquer)

Where can I read more about your plans for moderation?

We shot ourselves in the foot a couple of times in past: Its hilarious, just not for us.
So try to read between the lines in the other posts. Or ask the OGs aka the first 50.000. We won't talk about moderation never ever again. Pinky Promise!

Invite codes

I don’t have access to Bluesky yet. How can I get an invite code?

We regularly send out invites to our waitlist, which you can sign up for here. But good luck *giggle*, the backlog is like 2 million people. Wait, its 3 million now ... *snort haha* and do it fast, because its 4 million now. *head hits table*.

Now that I have an invite code, how can I access Bluesky?

Think carefully: Do you really want to get sucked into a beta community with zero privacy and rampant skeeting (ew!) instead making a quick buck on eBay? Your choice and a difference of around 200$+

When do I get invite codes? Do they expire?

You dumb, no? Its 14 days or 336 hours or 20.160 minutes. So just wait the fuck and chill. And DONT TAG US BECAUSE WE MUTE YOU AND YOU WILL NEVER GET INVITE$.

Why does Bluesky use an invite code system?

Because we are a secret social experiment run by the NSA.

We want to track the ninnies who brought the lame and the haters. We will punish them when they don't expect it. Or we don't and then piss off everone else. No decision, yet.

How does the Bluesky server use the invite tree?

For group punishment, yay! Plus for "social research". Also, trees are important.

Security

How can I reset my password?

Look at the dammed password field. You password ist either ******* or ********* is that so hard? If in doubt, add one star and try again.

What if I didn’t get a password reset email?

Good luck! See you on Twitter. Because they have email, we don't.

Will you implement two-factor authentication (2FA)?

Yup, its planned to be tackled right after we run out of Jacks money.

Bluesky, the AT Protocol, and Federation

What’s the difference between Bluesky and the AT Protocol?

A good question. We are here to find out. We tell you when we know.

How does federation affect me, as a user of the Bluesky app?

We’re prioritizing user experience *snort* *giggle* sorry, I can't

Is Bluesky built on a blockchain? Does it use cryptocurrency?

You wish and you wish. But no. And here is my bitcoin wallet, wink wink

Miscellaneous

How can I submit feedback?

Go to http://127.0.0.1 and fill out the form. Doesn't work? Reboot. Try again.

What is a post on Bluesky called?

The official term is “skeet.” But everyone from management says post.
Also, we really suggest you don't look skeet up, because urban dictionary.

How can I find friends or mutuals from other social networks?

God, you are insane. We all wanted a fresh start. Why on earth would you want to connect to people you used to know from the insane blue bird site.

Is there a dark mode?

Legal says if we made any kind of joke to that question, we would be sued. Or banned. Or have a rebellion. Likely all three. So answer that yourself and leave us out of it.

How can I set up my domain as my handle?

Yeah, you showoff, you can do that. Find out by yourself and show you are so 1337.

The answers here are subject to change as we figure out what we are doing.
We’ll update this guide regularly as we continue to release more bugs.
Thank you for joining our beta, we didn't expect so many willing lab specimen.
This FAQ involved no animal cruelty and was written by a cis white dude in its 50ies.
WAIT, DID IT JUST SAY IT AND CIS? Yeah, that confusion is the best.

(AND YES THIS IS SATIRE, CHEAP AND BAD AND WRONG WHAT DID YOU EXPECT?!?)

Bonus: We‘re hiring people who scroll to the bottom!

Are you a React Native expert? Like: Making reaction videos on tic toc!
Have you written multiple mobile apps? Like: that one that has a button and text? Great!
Are you confident building animations, gestures, UI state managers, and everything in between? Note: Everything in between are commas, so use a lot in the CV
Then we want to hire you! (Because we're not burning cash fast enough ... and bugs)

Apply to Bluesky